It's weird to think that I've only been back in Thailand for two and a half weeks now. It really feels like I never even left. The past two years in America feel like a distant memory, almost as if it were all just a dream. But I look back and I know that without those two years, I would not be the woman I am today. Without the heartaches, mistakes, loneliness, friendships, hard times, and good times I would still be the little girl who left Thailand when she was 18. So excited to be moving on with her life and getting away from parents and being her own person. I look back at that little girl and think 'how naive and dumb she was'. But I guess that is all part of the growing up process. I have grown and matured more both spiritually and mentally during the past two years in America than I ever did the 18 years before that. Because of this, though they were the hardest two years of my life, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
However, despite all of this, that time in America still feels like a dream that I have to try really hard to remember. I think about it and I wonder if it really even happened. But I look around me now, in Thailand, and for the first time in two years I finally feel like I fit in and like I belong somewhere.
"I was on my way to a brighter day, I'm still chasing around, But somehow I believe that this is home, It's so good to be home" ~Alaska, Sky Sailing.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Vegetarian Festival and Judgment
It is that time of year here in Thailand. The time of year where for ten days the Thai people give up eating any meet, wear only white and attempt righteousness. It's the time of year where they do everything they can to appease and please the gods. This includes (but is not limited to) piercing themselves with sharp objects, inviting spirits into their bodies and large parades all over the country. It is quite scary and a big reminder of the firm hold that Satan has on this country. They call this the Vegetarian Festival.
At our Sunday meeting this past week a discussion came up about the vegetarian Festival. During the processions of the festival many people will invite spirits into their bodies. Of course, some people who invite these spirits in really do become possessed while others merely pretend to be possessed.
Here are a couple of websites that explain the Vegetarian Festival more in-depth for those who are curious:
http://www.thaifestivalblogs.com/thai-festival-blogs/vegetarian-festival-in-thailand.html
http://gill-hart.suite101.com/thailands-phuket-vegetarian-festival-a63001
At our Sunday meeting this past week a discussion came up about the vegetarian Festival. During the processions of the festival many people will invite spirits into their bodies. Of course, some people who invite these spirits in really do become possessed while others merely pretend to be possessed.
Someone in the meeting on Sunday brought up the fact that there really is no way to tell who is genuinely possessed and who is only faking it. The discussion then turned to how true that is in the Christian world. So many things are done in the name of Christ that are actually from Christ while other times people do things in the name of Christ that are not really from or of HIM. And just like we can not tell who is faking possession by the spirits in the Vegetarian Festival and who is genuinely possessed, we should not try to say who is genuinely doing something that God told them to do and who is simply using the name of God as an "excuse".
Of course, there are obvious things that if someone were to say "God told me to do this," we would know without a doubt that God did NOT tell them to do that just based on what the Bible says. But on matters that are not specifically laid out in the Bible, who are we to judge what someone else does in the name of Christ?
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." Matthew 7:1 and 2
"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you." Matthew 7:1 and 2
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Update
Wow. It has been a WHILE since I last posted anything. Sorry about that, it's been a crazy month. So this post is just gonna be an update on what I'm doing with my life at the moment (Though most of you probably already know all this).
September second my Grandma, who I was living with, passed away. She had abdominal cancer and she went peacefully after a week in the hospital. She was oh so ready to be with her Savior.
In just a few days my life changed drastically. The woman who had been a part of every aspect of my life for over a year was suddenly gone, I no longer had a place to live, my dad came back from Thailand to help take care of things, and in less than two weeks I had decided to go back to Thailand with my dad.
It's been a weird last month for me... This is the first time I've ever experienced someone close to me dying.... I can't explain it....
Anyways... My dad and I will fly to Thailand on September 27th. I only have a one way ticket. I'll go and get certified in Teaching English as a Second Language and then see what happens from there. It's an exciting time for me but I want to cower in a corner every time I think about it. My life has never changed so drastically so fast.
I appreciate all of the many prayers my family and I have gotten from all of you this past month. They have been greatly appreciated and much needed.
I will do my best to keep this blog up-to-date as I head back to Thailand and the life that awaits me there!
"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9
September second my Grandma, who I was living with, passed away. She had abdominal cancer and she went peacefully after a week in the hospital. She was oh so ready to be with her Savior.
In just a few days my life changed drastically. The woman who had been a part of every aspect of my life for over a year was suddenly gone, I no longer had a place to live, my dad came back from Thailand to help take care of things, and in less than two weeks I had decided to go back to Thailand with my dad.
It's been a weird last month for me... This is the first time I've ever experienced someone close to me dying.... I can't explain it....
Anyways... My dad and I will fly to Thailand on September 27th. I only have a one way ticket. I'll go and get certified in Teaching English as a Second Language and then see what happens from there. It's an exciting time for me but I want to cower in a corner every time I think about it. My life has never changed so drastically so fast.
I appreciate all of the many prayers my family and I have gotten from all of you this past month. They have been greatly appreciated and much needed.
I will do my best to keep this blog up-to-date as I head back to Thailand and the life that awaits me there!
"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9
Friday, August 12, 2011
Lazarus
I was reading in the book of John this morning and I came upon the story of Lazarus...
"Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair; whose brother Lazarus was sick. Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick." When Jesus heard that, He said, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it." Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was." John 11:1-6
"Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was." John 11:5 and 6.
Am I the only one who finds verses 5 and 6 totally strange? It says that Jesus loved Martha, Mary and Lazarus...but he stayed where he was at for two days before going to see them. My thoughts on this? 'Sure, Jesus, You say You love them but then you sit right there on your butt and don't do anything about Lazarus being sick.'
How quick we are to judge the Lord like that. How often we ask for something and it seems as if God is sitting on his butt not doing a thing. He seems to just sit there and let us die like Lazarus.
Oh me of little faith!!!
Christ went above and beyond what any of them could imagine. Yes, he let Lazarus die...but then He brought him back to life! Christ showed His power and sovereignty much more mightily than had he simply gone immediately and made Lazarus well.
Next time you feel that God is just sitting on his butt and not doing a thing, remember Lazarus. Jesus did not do things the way I'm sure Martha and Mary were expecting Him to do them (aka, just go and make Lazarus well). No, He did things the way HE wanted to do them and the way He knew would bring God the most glory. By waiting two days he gave Martha and Mary a chance to grow in their faith and really learn who HE was.
"...This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it." John 11:4
"Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair; whose brother Lazarus was sick. Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick." When Jesus heard that, He said, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it." Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was." John 11:1-6
"Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was." John 11:5 and 6.
Am I the only one who finds verses 5 and 6 totally strange? It says that Jesus loved Martha, Mary and Lazarus...but he stayed where he was at for two days before going to see them. My thoughts on this? 'Sure, Jesus, You say You love them but then you sit right there on your butt and don't do anything about Lazarus being sick.'
How quick we are to judge the Lord like that. How often we ask for something and it seems as if God is sitting on his butt not doing a thing. He seems to just sit there and let us die like Lazarus.
Oh me of little faith!!!
Christ went above and beyond what any of them could imagine. Yes, he let Lazarus die...but then He brought him back to life! Christ showed His power and sovereignty much more mightily than had he simply gone immediately and made Lazarus well.
Next time you feel that God is just sitting on his butt and not doing a thing, remember Lazarus. Jesus did not do things the way I'm sure Martha and Mary were expecting Him to do them (aka, just go and make Lazarus well). No, He did things the way HE wanted to do them and the way He knew would bring God the most glory. By waiting two days he gave Martha and Mary a chance to grow in their faith and really learn who HE was.
"...This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it." John 11:4
Monday, August 1, 2011
Uncle Michael
I know it has been a while since my last blog. To be perfectly honest, nothing really worth noting has happened. That is, until this past week.
On Wednesday night, July 27, my dad's youngest brother shot himself at his home in California. A concerned neighbor found him the next morning. I won't go into the details of his life, but Uncle Michael had been depressed for a long time.
We are comforted though, in the fact that his family is confident that he had a relationship with Christ and is now in heaven at the feet of our Savior.
Please keep my family and I in your prayers. Especially David and Sammy, (Michael's brothers), Mary (his mother) and Chantel (his only daughter who is expecting her first child in about 6 weeks)
"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4
On Wednesday night, July 27, my dad's youngest brother shot himself at his home in California. A concerned neighbor found him the next morning. I won't go into the details of his life, but Uncle Michael had been depressed for a long time.
We are comforted though, in the fact that his family is confident that he had a relationship with Christ and is now in heaven at the feet of our Savior.
Please keep my family and I in your prayers. Especially David and Sammy, (Michael's brothers), Mary (his mother) and Chantel (his only daughter who is expecting her first child in about 6 weeks)
"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Christianity VS Jesus
Sorry, everyone. I know I'm probably beating this whole "Blue Like Jazz" thing into the dirt. But this book is quite amazing and every time I read something that I think is amazing, I like to share it.
"In a recent radio interview I was sternly asked by the host, who did not consider himself a Christian, to defend Christianity. I told him that I couldn't do it, and moreover, that I didn't want to defend the term. He asked me if I was a Christian, and I told him yes. "Then why don't you want to defend Christianity?" he asked, confused. I told him I no longer knew what the term meant. Of the hundreds of thousands of people listening to his show that day, some of them had terrible experiences with Christianity; they may have been yelled at by a teacher in a Christian school, abused by a minister, or browbeaten by a Christian parent. To them, the term Christianity meant something that no Christian I know would defend. By fortifying the term, I am only making them more and more angry. I won't do it. Stop ten people on the street and ask them what they think of when they hear the word Christianity, and they will give you ten different answers. How can I defend a term that means ten different things to ten different people? I told the radio show host that I would rather talk about Jesus and how I came to believe that Jesus exists and that he likes me. The host looked back at me with tears in his eyes. When we were done, he asked me if we could go get lunch together. He told me how much he didn't like Christianity but how he had always wanted to believe Jesus was the Son of God.
For me, the beginning of sharing my faith with people began by throwing out Christianity and embracing Christian spirituality, a nonpolitical mysterious system that can be experienced but not explained. Christianity, unlike Christian spirituality, was not a term that excited me. And I could not in good conscious tell a friend about a faith that didn't excite me. I couldn't share something I wasn't experiencing. And I wasn't experiencing Christianity. It didn't do anything for me at all. It felt like math, like a system of rights and wrongs and political beliefs, but it wasn't mysterious; it wasn't God reaching out of heaven to do wonderful things in my life. And if I would have shared Christianity with somebody, it would have felt mostly like I was trying to get somebody to agree with me rather than meet God. I could no longer share anything about Christianity, but I loved talking about Jesus and the spirituality that goes along with a relationship with Him." (Blue Like Jazz p. 115-116)
How awesome is that? How awesome would it be if Christians stopped talking about Christianity and religion and started talking about Jesus instead? I do believe we could change the world.
"In a recent radio interview I was sternly asked by the host, who did not consider himself a Christian, to defend Christianity. I told him that I couldn't do it, and moreover, that I didn't want to defend the term. He asked me if I was a Christian, and I told him yes. "Then why don't you want to defend Christianity?" he asked, confused. I told him I no longer knew what the term meant. Of the hundreds of thousands of people listening to his show that day, some of them had terrible experiences with Christianity; they may have been yelled at by a teacher in a Christian school, abused by a minister, or browbeaten by a Christian parent. To them, the term Christianity meant something that no Christian I know would defend. By fortifying the term, I am only making them more and more angry. I won't do it. Stop ten people on the street and ask them what they think of when they hear the word Christianity, and they will give you ten different answers. How can I defend a term that means ten different things to ten different people? I told the radio show host that I would rather talk about Jesus and how I came to believe that Jesus exists and that he likes me. The host looked back at me with tears in his eyes. When we were done, he asked me if we could go get lunch together. He told me how much he didn't like Christianity but how he had always wanted to believe Jesus was the Son of God.
For me, the beginning of sharing my faith with people began by throwing out Christianity and embracing Christian spirituality, a nonpolitical mysterious system that can be experienced but not explained. Christianity, unlike Christian spirituality, was not a term that excited me. And I could not in good conscious tell a friend about a faith that didn't excite me. I couldn't share something I wasn't experiencing. And I wasn't experiencing Christianity. It didn't do anything for me at all. It felt like math, like a system of rights and wrongs and political beliefs, but it wasn't mysterious; it wasn't God reaching out of heaven to do wonderful things in my life. And if I would have shared Christianity with somebody, it would have felt mostly like I was trying to get somebody to agree with me rather than meet God. I could no longer share anything about Christianity, but I loved talking about Jesus and the spirituality that goes along with a relationship with Him." (Blue Like Jazz p. 115-116)
How awesome is that? How awesome would it be if Christians stopped talking about Christianity and religion and started talking about Jesus instead? I do believe we could change the world.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Blue Like Jazz
Those of you who are my Facebook friend have probably noticed that lately I've been posting a lot of stuff from the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. I have only recently started reading it and I am not even finished with it yet, but I highly recommend it. I wanted to share an excerpt from the book that was too long to post in a Facebook status. So here it is:
Penny wanted nothing to do with religion. Her perception of Christians was that they were narrow-minded people, politically conservative and hypocritical. Penny dislike Christians because it seemed on every humanitarian issue, she found herself directly opposing the opinions held by many evangelicals. She also felt that is Christianity were a person, that is all Christians lumped into one human being, that human being probably wouldn't like her.
...During those first three weeks in France, it was comforting for Penny that Nadine cared so much about her past and her story. This helped Penny listen to Nadine's story, and one night while walking on a beach in the south of France, Nadine explained to Penny why she was a Christian. She said that she believed Christ was a revolutionary, a humanitarian of sorts, sent from God to a world that had broken itself. Penny was frustrated that Nadine was a Christian. She couldn't believe that a girl this kind and accepting could subscribe to the same religion that generated the Crusades, funded the Republicans, or fathered religious television. But over the year at Sarah Lawrence, Nadine's flavor of Christianity became increasingly intriguing to Penny. Penny began to wonder if Christianity, were it a person, might in fact like her. She began to wonder if she and Christianity might get along, if they might have things in common.
..."Nadine and I would sit for hours in her room," [Penny] began. "Mostly we would talk about boys or school, but always, by the end of it, we talked about God. The thing I loved about Nadine was that I never felt like she was selling anything. She would talk about God as if she knew Him, as if she had talked to Him on the phone that day. She was never ashamed, which is the thing with some Christians I had encountered. They felt like they had to sell God, as if He were soap or a vacuum cleaner, and it's like they really weren't listening to me; they didn't care, they just wanted me to buy their product. I came to realize that I had judged all Christians on the personality of a few. That was frightening for me, too, because it had been so easy just to dismiss Christianity as nuts, but here was Nadine. I didn't have a category for her. To Nadine, God was a being with which she interacted, and even more, Nadine believed that God liked her. I thought that was beautiful...So she asked me if I wanted to read through the book of Matthew with her, and in fact I did. I wanted to see if this whole Jesus thing was real. I still had serious issues with Jesus, though, only because I associated Him with Christianity, and there was no way I would ever call myself a Christian. But I figured i should see for myself. So I told her yes."
Penny's story really got me thinking. How sad is it that Penny felt that Christians wouldn't like her. I think that Christians get so caught up in the fact that we are supposed to hate sin that we come across as hating the sinner as well. We need to be careful of this. There is a fine line between being accepting and loving of people, while at the same time not loving or endorsing their sin. This can be a hard line to walk, but Jesus shows us how to do it.
"When Penny and Nadine first met, Penny wasn't a Christian. They had both spent their freshman years at Reed but never knew each other. Individually they decided to study at the same school in France during their sophomore year.
Penny wanted nothing to do with religion. Her perception of Christians was that they were narrow-minded people, politically conservative and hypocritical. Penny dislike Christians because it seemed on every humanitarian issue, she found herself directly opposing the opinions held by many evangelicals. She also felt that is Christianity were a person, that is all Christians lumped into one human being, that human being probably wouldn't like her.
...During those first three weeks in France, it was comforting for Penny that Nadine cared so much about her past and her story. This helped Penny listen to Nadine's story, and one night while walking on a beach in the south of France, Nadine explained to Penny why she was a Christian. She said that she believed Christ was a revolutionary, a humanitarian of sorts, sent from God to a world that had broken itself. Penny was frustrated that Nadine was a Christian. She couldn't believe that a girl this kind and accepting could subscribe to the same religion that generated the Crusades, funded the Republicans, or fathered religious television. But over the year at Sarah Lawrence, Nadine's flavor of Christianity became increasingly intriguing to Penny. Penny began to wonder if Christianity, were it a person, might in fact like her. She began to wonder if she and Christianity might get along, if they might have things in common.
..."Nadine and I would sit for hours in her room," [Penny] began. "Mostly we would talk about boys or school, but always, by the end of it, we talked about God. The thing I loved about Nadine was that I never felt like she was selling anything. She would talk about God as if she knew Him, as if she had talked to Him on the phone that day. She was never ashamed, which is the thing with some Christians I had encountered. They felt like they had to sell God, as if He were soap or a vacuum cleaner, and it's like they really weren't listening to me; they didn't care, they just wanted me to buy their product. I came to realize that I had judged all Christians on the personality of a few. That was frightening for me, too, because it had been so easy just to dismiss Christianity as nuts, but here was Nadine. I didn't have a category for her. To Nadine, God was a being with which she interacted, and even more, Nadine believed that God liked her. I thought that was beautiful...So she asked me if I wanted to read through the book of Matthew with her, and in fact I did. I wanted to see if this whole Jesus thing was real. I still had serious issues with Jesus, though, only because I associated Him with Christianity, and there was no way I would ever call myself a Christian. But I figured i should see for myself. So I told her yes."
"So then you started reading the Bible?" I asked.
"Yes. We would eat chocolates and smoke cigarettes and read the Bible, which is the only way to do it, if you ask me...We started reading through Matthew, and I thought it was all very interesting, you know. And I found Jesus very disturbing, very straightforward. He wasn't diplomatic, and yet I felt like if I met Him, He would really like me. Don, I can't explain how freeing that was, to realize that if I met Jesus, He would like me. I never felt like that about some of the Christians on the radio. I always thought if I met those people they would yell at me. But it wasn't like that with Jesus. There were people He loved and people He got really mat at, and I kept identifying with the people He loved, which was really good, because they were all the broken people, you know, the kind of people who are tired of life and want to be done with it, or they are desperate people, people who are outcast or pagans. There were others, regular people, but He didn't play favorites at all, which is miraculous in itself. That fact alone may have been the most supernatural thing He did. He didn't show partiality, which every human does."(Parts of Chapter 4)
Penny's story really got me thinking. How sad is it that Penny felt that Christians wouldn't like her. I think that Christians get so caught up in the fact that we are supposed to hate sin that we come across as hating the sinner as well. We need to be careful of this. There is a fine line between being accepting and loving of people, while at the same time not loving or endorsing their sin. This can be a hard line to walk, but Jesus shows us how to do it.
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